On Sundays I lead an adult spiritual formation experience at the church I serve. This week we were talking about how to make the gospel connect with people who are immersed in destructive lifestyles. How do we speak biblical truth to them in ways that doesn’t spiritually harm them or cause them to want to avoid us? The truth is this is a question about speaking prophetic truth to others.
Speaking truth at any level is not easy, but if God calls us to speak a word of truth to another I believe there are some guidelines and checkpoints we must walk through first. Why? Because we want to be sure we are personally divested of any desire to “fix” or “clean-up” the person we’re feeling led to speak truth to. Sometimes we’re motivated to speak truth to someone whose hurt us because we want them to “understand” what they’ve done. That motive is selfish and not aimed at their best interest, its aimed at helping ourselves feel better.
Allow me to establish an illustration that should help us frame this issue of speaking truth in a meaningful context. Let’s say you have a severely addicted brother who is rarely if ever functioning in sobriety. Your heart aches for this brother and as a committed follower of Christ you desperately want him to discover the hope and freedom that come from a transformational relationship with Christ. Your desire is good and I affirm that God put that desire in your heart.
Speaking truth into the life of a family member comes with serious risks; it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it, but it does mean we must realize the level of risk involved relationally could be costly. The implications of speaking truth to this person could reverberate through the entire family and cause people to start taking sides and add to the pain instead of having a healing effect on the situation.
Speaking truth to anyone should, I believe, go through three simple filters. First, I wouldn’t speak it if it is not God-directed. Unless the Holy Spirit impresses this on your heart in an unavoidable way (ie: you have direct clarity that God is telling you to speak this word, there is no way out of this). If God is directing you to speak truth God will simultaneously empower you with the courage and confidence necessary to do so. This may be a truth you are being called to speak once or a truth you are called to speak into this person’s life over a period of time. Regardless, it will ultimately be damaging instead of spiritually transforming if it is self-directed versus being clearly, unavoidably God-directed.
The second filter is this, the word we speak must be spoken in love. Speaking in love may be a word of tenderness and compassion or it may be very direct, firm, and decisive. Discerning the tone of the message is important. Frequently parents must speak truth to their children in ways that are direct and firm, but love is always the motive if the message of our words is for their benefit. Nuance whatever you say with a reminder to the person that it is because you love them that you are sharing what you’re sharing. Go into this experience with a deep sense of humility and ask God’s grace to infuse every word with the Spirit’s power so that it would be God’s words that emerge and that whatever you say would connect spiritually with the recipient.
The third filter is obedience. Make sure that you are convinced in your spirit that to avoid speaking this word would be a direct act of disobedience to Christ. If we speak truth in obedience to Christ then we can be sure, regardless the recipient’s initial reaction, God will use those words over time to communicate his heart of love to and for that person.
Speaking truth is an act of exhortation. The OT prophets frequently spoke prophetic words of warning and impending doom to people in positions of power and authority. They were also frequently directed to speak into the life of the nation of Israel about their need to seek God and repent. Their message, though often a hard one, was always infused with the powerful reminder that if they relent or return God would turn away his wrath and restore them into a relationship with himself.
God always prefers grace over judgment; love over punishment. When we speak God-directed truth to others we are in a sense functioning in the prophetic voice. Not as fore-tellers of doom and destruction as much as we are messengers of grace, love, and God’s hope for restoration with those living far from God’s love. Love should be the motive behind all that we do and all that we say for the purpose of seeing God’s love transform hearts and lives for the sake of God’s Kingdom.